My Two Dads

My dad was a very large man; 6’3” , approx. 300 lbs. He was a Master Sergeant in the Air Force in World War ll.

He was a stern man with a reputation for being tough. People just didn’t mess with him. But that is not the man I knew.

The man I knew was a big teddy bear. He never had a harsh word for his children, he always provided whatever we needed and he made sure that we were getting what we needed from our mother. You see, I came from a divorced family when divorce was really frowned upon. Most people didn’t realize my parents were divorced because we saw our father almost everyday. I had a stepfather too. He married my mom when I was a baby.

At our house there was never all the drama about who belonged to who and I will kick your butt if I catch you talking to your ex, etc.  We lived in a civil home, where everyone knew their place and stayed in it. My oldest sister took a garage apartment and my dad moved in underneath her. That way we could have weekend visits with our dad. In that day and time, little girls did not stay overnight at men’s houses, not even their dads. It wasn’t proper. We would spend the weekends with my sister and see our dad during the day; at night we stayed in our sisters apartment. My dad would come to our house and have dinner with us. He and my stepfather would talk about business  and news and world affairs. They were both veterans of Foreign Wars and they were both married to my mother so they had a lot in common.

My dad never remarried and when I was nine , he got cancer and my mother took care of his affairs, visited him in the hospital, etc. My stepfather was with her all the way. He never complained, he didn’t try to stop her. He just stood by her.  My dad survived War and Marriage to my mother but he couldn’t beat cancer. He died when I was ten; but I never forgot him.

My Stepfather was tall and slender; very handsome and he fought in Korea. He too was very stern. He raised us with a firm hand. As children do – we hated him growing up. But when we were grown we realized that he was a good person in a difficult position.  Our stepfather never talked about our dad or criticized him and neither did our mother.  My mother and stepfather divorced when I was 14; but again; they remained friends and our stepfather visited often. When my mother passed away in 1979; he attended the funeral and grieved with the rest of the family. I had lost both of my parents and when I gave birth to my first child, I was beside myself; I was only 16 and still wanted a parents guidance and approval.  But the day I brought that baby home from the hospital my stepfather came. He had driven many miles to see me and the baby and to reassure me that I would be able to take care of her. We continued to visit back and forth over the years and I was on the family call list when he passed away in 2006

Both of these men were fathers to me and they both played a part in making me the person I am today. I will never forget either of them and I wish that all children could know a fathers love like I did.